Today, is five years to the day I got married to a man in Toronto, Canada. Two years ago though, it broke down. I’ve had enough time to come to terms with it and even though my marriage didn’t work out, I’m still a big advocate of marriage equality for all.
On mainland Britain in the UK, gay men and women can now get married to their same-sex partners thanks to those campaigning over the years for equal marriage. But, there are still places where this isn’t legal – which includes Northern Ireland, a quarter of the United Kingdom.
I’m a believer that with marriage equality for LGBT people, also should come equal divorce. And by this I mean, in tandem with fighting for equal marriage on one hand should be allowing us to part when things don’t go right. We can’t only be at the wedding, sometimes we have to be at the funeral.
When I got married in Toronto’s City Hall, I couldn’t think of anything better I wanted to do. Just that right to marry, brought about new feelings within me. And this is what all fights for equality are truly about, just be allowing to do the same and not as everyone else regardless of your race, gender, sexuality, age, religion and/or disability.
Although I think marriage is a great thing, I genuinely do, I’m not sure I’d do it again myself. Not anything to do with being gay, but the divorce side of it is actually quite tiring. This clearly is the same for heterosexual couples, who are going through a dissolution.
This however, won’t stop me from advocating for marriage equality in places where it is still not allowed.
For all those considering marrying their loved ones, my advice would be to go for it. No one knows what the future holds, it might be a long and wonderful marriage. It might be short and miserable, but that’s the beauty of equal marriage – we have the choice to be both happy and sad, if you get my gist?
For those going through a break-up, a divorce or dissolving your civil-partnership … it does hurt.
Divorce can be much like a tornado, quickly ripping through your life with a path of destruction. It affects you, your family, your friends and those around you. It can effect you financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically. It is easier to clean up the physical damage caused by a storm than the emotional damage caused by divorce. But it is possible to heal. To look to the future with hope.*
Whatever path you’re on, I wish you well.
Take care, Max x.