Battered and Bruised …

Battered and BruisedYesterday, I finished my third employment trial against the Metropolitan Police Service. A reserved judgment is now in place, which means Scotland Yard and I won’t know the court’s decision for some time.

The past two weeks have not been the best and if I am to be completely honest, the entire process has felt like secondary abuse in which I feel battered and bruised. Pretty much how I was psychically in January of this year when I slipped in the shower, during the original adjourned trial.

After becoming unwell in 2009 with depression, I believed that the Courts and indeed Parliament were the best way for someone like me – as a black and gay man – to air my grievances, and get a resolution to them.

Five years on, the Commissioner of Police has still not been held accountable for the abuse I suffered because of my race and sexual orientation.

Bluntly, where’s the justice in that?

I can see why many do not have faith in the justice system, because maybe it’s not designed for people like me.

I do not know if I will ever get justice from the courts to do with the Metropolitan Police, but I am mindful there are other ways to hold the Commissioner to account – like, through my speaking out about wrongdoing in law enforcement via my writing and filmmaking work.

I’ve often said, the Public Court of Opinion is the highest one.

Somehow now, I have to move on with my life and put the past behind me. Note: how I deliberately left out “try”, because I haven’t a choice. I only hope that bitterness, resentment and/or hate do not set in with regards to my experiences over the past half decade, and how not one person within Scotland Yard has been brought to book.

Five years since my diagnosis with depression and three court trials later, the Commissioner has never once apologised to me for the actions of him and his officers simply because I like men and have brown skin.

I guess, I’ve been too reliant on others to give me closure when I’m actually that person.

Some day, I know those who have been racist and/or homophobic towards me and leaked about my private life to newspapers for money as a way to discredit me will be held accountable. If simply not, through my first memoir Broken in which I share my experiences along with the evidence so that the public can make their own minds on whether justice has not only been done but seen to be done.

Take care, Max.