Lost a friend to Depression …

Lost FriendsWell, a few actually. Although, not literally.

The past 12 months for me, have been some of the toughest. I’ve had to fight the Met Police Commissioner’s appeal of the racist and homophobic acts committed against me by his Force, trying to deal with the end of my marriage and having a public meltdown.

When I was first diagnosed with depression because of racism and homophobia in the police, I was ashamed and embarrassed. I hid it, until the Metropolitan Police leaked this to The Sun newspaper.

It was my brother actually who said, “let them write about you what they want”. It took a while to sink in.

After being diagnosed with a mental illness and since the leak of my private data to The Sun, I’ve written about my battle against depression, racism and homophobia openly and without fear or favour.

I’ve not been looking for people to be on “Team Kevin”, but, just an outlook for me to express myself.

My public profile in fighting all forms of discrimination has risen, along with my waist, but its come at a cost.

I’ve lost friends, because, I continually challenge the Metropolitan Police over racism and homophobia.

I lost another one this morning.

I guess, I use the term “friend” loosely. As, no true friend would abandon you in your time of need, I think.

That said, for everything friend I lose, I gain two.

Strangers have been supportive of me, mostly white and straight. Does or should it matter, NO. Because, I’m not fighting to be more black or more gay. I’m fighting because, racism and homophobia ruins lives. You only have to read about the countless young people who take their lives, because of bullying.

Because, they have been deemed “too black” or “too gay”, “a nigger” or “a queer”. Hurtful, and hateful words.

I’ve no agenda, but if I did have one, it is this … change will only come, if people say ‘Enough IS Enough‘.

It’s that simple.

If a white straight man needed my help, I would be the first to help him because I wouldn’t judge him by his race and/or who he chooses to sleep with. Equally, I don’t expect or accept others to judge me.

Many won’t understand why sometimes, you’ve just got to do the right thing.

I can live with people not liking me for challenging the Met Police and doing my bit to rid Scotland Yard of corruption, because it’s hardly something I would have done if I wanted to be popular.

I will continue my third fight for discrimination accountability on January 20, despite the threats.

I might be many things, but a coward I’m not.

Those whom I thought were my friends, don’t even have the decency to tell me they can’t bare my challenging racism and homophobia in society.

I only hope, they never come across someone who treats them differently because of who and what they are.

I like to think of myself as a passive guy, but I’m not going to be pushed around because I’m black and gay.

I’m PROUD of who and what I am.

The sooner others like the MPS accept this, the better the world will be.

Take care.