I was like, what the f**k.
It then reminded me of my nights out last weekend, with two of my closest gay friends – both white, both very handsome. We spent all weekend together in London, and in a particular bar on one night a guy started chatting to me.
The conversation went something like (from him anyway), “I’ve never been with a black or mixed-race guy before – but, it’s not as if you’re from Africa?”
As I turned and walked away, I was like, what the f**k.
When I got home that night, I kid you not, I received a message from a guy who had indicated he fancied me.
In this message, he wrote … “don’t normally go for black guys”.
To be fair though, he then wrote … “don’t know why I said that really”.
Now, I know more than most that discrimination exists in all communities. But, as a black and gay man, I naturally have a keen interest in those which form part of who and what I am.
It wasn’t that long ago that I wrote a comment piece for the UK national gay newspaper Pink News, specifically about racism within the gay community. Half of the interactive comments on the site and other social media networks like Facebook said it didn’t exist, whilst half agreed it did.
The majority of people commenting being white, from their profile pictures.
Personally and in a non-narcissistic way, on the whole I’ve not had a problem meeting other gay men of the opposite race. My last three long-term partners all being white (4 years, 3 years and 5 years), and who would be labelled ‘middle-class’ – if, you’re into that classing people thing.
However, this isn’t about me and wasn’t at the time of my writing the article on racism in the gay community for Pink News. I had a perfectly good relationship, marriage in fact, at the time of writing it.
There will be black and Asian men out there, many in fact, who get hurt by the comments often seen on gay social networking sites like Grindr and so forth. It’s pointless dressing it up, it’s racism.
Nothing more, nothing less.
I don’t agree with the opinion that it’s just a ‘personal preference’, especially when, people go out their way to insult those of colour. I mean, how does an individual group ‘Asians and drug-takers’ together as a dislike as the person did above?
I was on a radio breakfast show yesterday, talking about racism in the workplace. I made a comment live on air that if you cut me open, I’m half white/half black. The presenter commented on this immediately stating there is only one race, the human race. I heard him. I understood what he was saying.
However, my point was and is this … my dear late mother was as white as many of my friends are, so I literally am part of both racial communities. Although I am mixed-race, I identify as black as that is how I best relate and how many others see me anyway.
I’m on no racial side, but, there is a problem within the gay community to do with racism.
You only have to ‘log on’ to any gay social application, to see it for yourself.
I’m happy to read and discuss homophobia in the black community with anyone, but as yet, I personally haven’t experienced this or I would have documented this by now in my writing. This, I’m certain of.
As I have often said, as gay people we cannot fight for equality on one hand and discriminate on the other.
Take care, Max.