Last night when I got into bed, my wedding ring finger was swelling and this had never happened to this extent before. It was so uncomfortable that I took it off, and put it next to me whilst I slept. A first.
Probably related, my dream that night was about the marriage of Alex and Me in Canada in 2010 and how it was one of the most special days of my life – that, and meeting My Mum at birth for the first time of course 😮
Although we’ve been together since 2008, 1 March 2012 will be our 2-year marriage anniversary.
Anyway, I woke this morning Friday 13th and did a bit of social-networking (as you do) and saw on one of my Canadian friend’s news feed an article about same-sex marriages in Canada.
I discovered an hour or so ago, that Alex and I ‘might not’ be legally married – at all. Yes, you read that right.
There is a debate going on in Canada at the moment that is two-fold, arising from a lesbian couple who married in Toronto (like Alex and I) and are not Canadian (like Alex and I) but who want to divorce – not like Alex and I. Yet, anyway – joking!
In the lesbian couple’s court case, there is an argument that even though they were ‘legally’ married in Toronto because marriage is not recognised in Britain (only Civil Partnerships) and Florida (USA) where the women are from, they are… not married in the first place.
So, to be clear – even though Canada married the couple and gave them a ‘marriage’ certificate like Alex and I (oh, not forgetting taking our money etc etc) knowing they ‘came to’ this country to get married, Canada is now saying ‘we’ve changed our minds’ or misled you in the first place – wtf?
The second issue is that, the Canadian Government is saying they are not re-opening the marriage debate as marriages are legal in Canada i.e. Alex and I are still married, even though this legitimacy as indicated with the lesbian couple above is going through the courts at the moment for clarification.
However, even if marriages are confirmed as being legal (including that of Alex’s and mine, despite the UK not allowing them) then the lesbian couple and any other same-sex couples who want to go their separate ways do ‘have to’ live in Canada for a year before they can get divorced. I’m hoping, not together?
So, Canada allows you to get married instantly if you’re not a native but you have to live there to get divorced – that definitely wasn’t in the small print, which no doubt the lesbian couple and many others will be challenging.
Either way, Canada is in for a bumpy ride and its reputation IS damaged. This is an embarrassing saga for the country.
I have been a BIG advocate and supporter of Canada and its marriage equality, but if these latest developments turn out to be true then the only person I’ll be divorcing is Canada.
Naturally, I’m more bothered about the legitimacy of mine and Alex’s marriage, but I do feel for those same-sex couples who want to divorce but now might have to go back to Canada for a year or so before this can happen. This my friend, is not marriage equality!
This news reminds me once again that, marriage equality is needed in the UK sooner than later.
As I have said in recent articles, which were published by various sources including 10,000 Couples (the US-based same-sex magazine) and The Lesbian & Gay Foundation that it shouldn’t have taken Alex and I to cross the Atlantic in the first place to get married.
I mean, it doesn’t make sense. You have two British guys born and bred who love each other and want to commit to one another like everybody else (and which the anti-gay movement say we can’t do – commit that is), yet we can’t even get married in our own country.
If we could, the dilemma Canada is having now wouldn’t even be an issue for us – because, we would have just got married say in London and not Toronto.
I can see a few lawsuits coming Canada’s way very soon from the 5,000 plus non-Canadian couples outside of the country who have woken today like me not knowing if they are married or not?
Can you imagine the scenario for the lesbian couple I have mentioned… one wakes up one morning and say’s to the other… “I want a divorce – but, let’s not fall-out about it because we need to go live in Canada for a year before it can happen – together preferably because we won’t have jobs, know many people and so on – babe!”.
This has been a… not impressed, ‘View from the Bottom’.
Live Healthy, Laugh Often & Love Yourself!
Published by My Mum. Copyright © Kevin Maxwell Film, Media & Performance 2012.